What I have learnt in 2020

I have learnt that I won’t ever be ready for anything that life throws at me

I may almost never have the right words for when they matter

I won’t often know what to choose and I will make wrong choices

I don’t always need the perfect guy around

I’ve learnt that I can go on waiting sustained by hope

and I can also put stuff aside and shrug my shoulders

and boldly accept that I can’t keep my heart safe

and that I can’t stop love from making me feel terrible

I have learnt to say no this year, clearly and audibly so

and to live as authentically as I know how to

I have learnt to not be sure if I have another year ahead … or another shot at life

And that if I have a new chance , I must try to get it right this time around

and not be disappointed with myself if I don’t !

 I had never been so close to feeling mortal . And so like many others I noticed a shift in the way I experience this world today. The whole idea of moment to moment awareness came alive for me . The past does not exist and the future is a bunch of possibilities I cannot predict. All I have is this moment and this moment , this breath is precious.